MY NEW APPROACH TO MAKING NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS
This year I’m taking a new approach to setting my New Year’s resolutions. Instead of focusing on “fixing” something about myself, I’m going to focus on setting goals that will strengthen my self-confidence. My inspiration for rethinking New Year’s resolutions came from an episode Chelsea Handler’s Netflix show. On the episode “We Got to See a Beacon of Light”, she interviewed country singer, Maren Morris, about her recent rise to fame. One of the main subjects that Chelsea and Maren discussed during the interview is how one builds self-confidence.
In their interview, Chelsea says to Maren, “Confidence is like being scared $hitless…Pushing through it, and then you get confident. And it goes back and forth all the time. I’m kind of always scared $hitless.” Her quote beautifully demonstrates that confidence is not something you can achieve overnight - it is a journey. Even though Chelsea is an incredibly confident woman who has achieved a lot of success in her lifetime, there are still situations she encounters that make her question whether or not she can push through them. What I appreciate about Chelsea’s perspective on self-confidence is her acknowledgement that it is a process. Self-confidence is not a destination where you can arrive and stay. It’s a goal you will find yourself constantly working towards your entire life. You will likely encounter many different challenges that will make you doubt yourself, but by overcoming these obstacles it will reaffirm your faith in yourself.
This interview resonated with me so much because when I was growing up people always gave me the advice “just be more confident”. Nothing made me want to roll my eyes more! In my head I was thinking, “Do you think I have some magical self-confidence button that I can turn on and off? And if I did have one, don’t you think I would have tried that by now?” What frustrated me was how simple the advice sounded, like flipping on a light switch, but how difficult it seemed to get to this place of self-confidence.
Ok so if I’m dishing this advice on New Year’s resolutions, I have to be able to follow it myself. My resolution is to do something that scares me $hitless, but is something I have always wanted to do. One thing I have wanted to do my whole life (even though I’m absolutely horrible at it) is dance. Not the hitting the dance floor at a party kind of dancing, but choreographed dance. The one year of ballroom dance I took in middle school was proof enough that it was most likely not my forte. Counting in my head, staying on the beat, and remembering all the steps is system overload for my brain. However, putting the self-deprecation aside for the moment, my goal isn't to become the best dancer in the world; but I think it would be so cool if I could master one 3-4 minute choreographed dance routine. That would be enough to make me happy. So I’m going to take dance classes to learn a routine, which will probably scare me $hitless because it means having to dance in front of strangers but the reward seems worth it. Stayed tuned for updates on me sticking to my New Year's resolution ;)
But… if I have to do it, so do you! When set your goal, I would recommend chose something you’ve secretly been dying to do, but you’ve been too scared to try. It could be something small like taking a yoga class. Or it could be something bigger like signing up for an 8-week Improv class. My advice is to pick something you’re excited about doing so you will look forward to it. (I’m not necessarily recommending that you go cage diving with sharks because it will scare you $hitless, unless that’s what you’ve dying to do!) Would love to hear in the comments below what your resolution is for this year if you give this method a try!
Interested in watching Chelsea’s interview?
I linked to a clip of their interview here and a Rolling Stone article recapping the interview here. If you want to see the full interview, it’s available on Netflix (Episode: “We Got to See a Beacon of Light”).